I’ve conducted a lot of research regarding women's friendships and the ways that people can most effectively maintain healthy connections over the long-term. In a recent study, however, we explored what women, from 18 to 75, need from the men in their lives. Not surprisingly, the qualities women seek in heterosexual romantic partners, male friends, and men in general, are not all that different from what they seek in a friend. This makes sense: Any good relationship is built on some basic, down-to-earth qualities.
Women aren’t opening because men aren’t giving them what they need. Women feel disappointed and resentful; they are suffering. When women suffer, and they feel like they aren’t being seen, they close off to their men.
Fortunately, you can learn the right tools to be able to more fully penetrate your woman. You can give your partner what she needs, allowing her to feel seen so that she will open again.
Take the time to read through these needs. Let them sink in. Understanding what you can do to help your partner fully open will not only improve your relationship, but it will improve your entire life.
Here are the seven things that all women want in a relationship.
1. Make Her Feel Loved
When women feel loved, they relax and open to us. The arguments
dissipate, the sex is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows
throughout our lives.
Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and
your partner have.
If she is unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or
she’s upset about her day at work, or she is only responding to you with brief
snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely her not feeling loved
enough.
Learn to see through her words, actions, and moods and see what
the real root of it is.
2. Make Her Feel Safe
There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, sexuality, and
safety from a very young age.
Because of the barrage of disempowering messages being sent to
women regarding their sexuality, women need to have a safe space where they
feel that they can trust their partners.
She wants to trust your strength. She wants to feel like you can
handle whatever she shows you.
She wants to feel like you will not judge her if she asks for
something risqué. She wants to know you won’t collapse in defeat if she tells
you to do it “This way” instead.
By creating a safe space for your woman to open up to you
emotionally and sexually, you will be giving her a very powerful gift- you
allow her to grow within your relationship and undo old emotional damage.
3. Make Her Feel Seen
Women want to feel seen.
She wants to feel you hearing her, and being aware of her
emotional state.
She doesn’t necessarily want you to be affected by her emotional
state, but she does want you to be witness to it.
If she is sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking
up on the fact that she is suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, she
will begin to trust you less. She will think, “If he can’t see that I am
hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering
for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through
this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.”
Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You
have to constantly show your partner that at least one person will be witness
to her and her journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.)
4. Nurture Her
Just
as masculine energy has the need to protect, feminine energy has the desire to
nurture.
Women
want to see the cracks in our armour. They want to see that we trust them
enough to open up to them. They want to be able to help us through our sadness.
An
integrated, evolved man who has a balanced masculine energy as well as his own
sliver of feminine would welcome his woman’s nurturing.
If you
are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s
the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even
a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh what? I can’t open
the door for myself because I’m a woman?! You sexist pig!”
That
is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help
from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you
push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head
down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!”
That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner
in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your
partner suffer.
So let
her in. She wants to love you.
5. Make Her Sexually Desired
What’s
a major difference between your relationship to your partner and your relationship
to everyone else in your life? You have sex with your partner.
Women
need to feelsexually desired. They want to make
sure that you see and appreciate them as a feminine, sexual being.
Praise her body. Feel her and grab her appreciatively. Remind her that you
see her as a sexual being and you will both benefit.
6. To Be Appreciated
The
feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation.
Remind
your partner that you love her. Tell her that you appreciate what she brings to
your life. Show her how much she means to you.
The
fastest way to run your relationship into the ground is by ignoring your
partner and taking her for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those
things. Appreciation is the embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you
bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.”
So
tell her what you appreciate, and tell her often.
Conclusion
Women need the men in their
lives to be feminist allies who want to see the women in their lives
succeed every bit as much as they want to enjoy their own success. Men should
take time to recognize and acknowledge a woman's strengths and respect her for
all that she brings to their relationship. And when it comes to romantic
connection, women want the same things men want; they might just want them in a
different order.
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Thank you all for taking your time to read!!!